Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
