You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
