I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
