Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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