thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
