I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
