This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Found your dick twin last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
