Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
