You're so nebulous sometimes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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