Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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