In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
