Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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