I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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