Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
