so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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