Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I cut my penus on the lid.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
