I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
