I think my vagina is haunted
thus making me awesome and them whores
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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