Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Someone came in the potted fern
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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