3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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