how can u be prego again
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
