I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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