his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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