I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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