I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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