Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
