I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
