It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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