Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
