I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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