I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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