So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
