Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize