Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
