Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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