...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
