If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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