dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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