i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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