dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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