Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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