His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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