sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
