If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
