If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I understand Curling. That high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
