He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
