No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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