He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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