Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is the high leading the old right now
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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