problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My hand turned me down
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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