Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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