I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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