Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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