Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
