Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
