I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
