I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
