...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
