I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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