I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
