...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
