he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
